Let’s see who’s been paying attention.
Let’s see who’s been paying attention.
I think about this a lot, and many of you know how perception of me is so important to what I do. It is. How I view my work, how I think people see the blog, how I orchestrate the blog from now on.
Here’s what I pictured the blog as being viewed, and please speak to me if there’s any variation on this because I need that feedback. This is a blog partly for Dale to troll around in and answer asks in a joking manner, and it’s partly a means for the mun to ship the character because it’s not a secret that I like shipping and I like seeing my own character happy, as well as finding good chemistry with other muses that work well and are mutually happy for both. This is a blog glorifying a character whom is overwritten by the mun and has deviated substantially from the character people know from their nostalgia. The blog has been around a while and since then it’s just blossomed into its own thing.
I wonder if I can still claim that this is Dale, if my grasp on the character has deviated, if I am doing this character justice. Dale is a very well known character and it would be easy to tell if I’m writing correctly, if accuracy and truth to the muse is what I’m aiming for. I’m not so sure of myself, I could have let this blog go to whatever is personally satisfying to me and the people who followed for nostalgia are treated to whatever is secondary to what I want to do. The intention of most RPers is to have fun and I embrace that, maybe a little too well.
What I would have liked to see myself doing more is participating in the Disney side of Dale’s follower base and instead it ventured towards the animal blogs, those blogs were generally more interested in this blog and Dale gravitated towards them because they’re more relatable. Dale had interactions with characters, mostly human characters, but they made him feel isolated and misfit. Being with animal characters and especially rodent characters gave him a place to belong, his friends didn’t dwarf him like his human friends did and he could have actual relationships with them, where he was relegated to pet status before.
There are certainly immediate expectations and perceptions of a blog like this and I’m not fully certain myself if I know what they are. I struggle to have the right interactions or the right tone of writing with other Disney writing blogs and so I don’t work on that, so that leaves this blog as a furry blog, in the furry fandom. I’m not sure how I feel about this, there are perceptions and images conjured up by that too and I think I need to backtrack and really think about how I can fit into the Disney crowd again.
I’m worried a lot of Disney blogs have bypassed me in following because I am not investing in them back. I have a lot of dreams about Dale fitting in with a Disney muse and being an animal sidekick or a familiar. I have a lofty vision of sending him to a Disney rendering of a fairy tale world or some far off place on an adventure much like the tone of the movies. I may be losing interest with people because I do an awful lot of shipping and that turns people off. I need either a dash of reality or a change of pace so the blog is more interesting to people who aren’t part of his ships or his RP threads.
I worry that people think I take myself too seriously because of my writing style and that I’m isolating myself that way. I really hope I haven’t put people off because of my writing style.
( You are right. When I don’t say anything, people won’t usually notice anything unusual about me. When I do misstep though I still don’t really attribute it, rather I approached it by denying the existence of what disabilities I’m diagnosed with. I’d rather not count it against me and consider it a disability but the point remains that it is still a problem and I will never be able to completely erase it. Sometimes I wonder if I would be happier not coping with the syndrome and having more friends, more aptitude in social skills of course. At the same time what would really make me happy, I’d rather be in a place where I do not have to pardon everything that composes me, i.e. interest areas, and still stay in a place where I’m on good terms with friends and I get along. Being a people pleaser has its ups and downs, at the end of the day I appreciate having close friends who accept me for who I am and that’s that. I realize I was miserable hiding ‘me’ all of the time because by hiding myself it means there’s something to regret, something negligible. I was in a position where I felt the outcast, I still do but at least people know I’m trying. If people ever remember anything about me, don’t make it about my disorder, I never wanted to make it about my disorder even from my perspective. Make it about the growth I’ve made, and strides I’m still making. If I treat others the way I would want to be treated, that’s enough. Then maybe people will feel friendship towards me and acceptance themselves. )
do you ever just look at someone’s interpretation of a character and want to gently put your hands on their shoulders, look them kindly in the eyes and say you got it all wrong